Our Marriage Through Our Mothers' Eyes
Celebrating motherhood and unconditional love.
Header image by John Carges. Aaron’s best man.
The backstory
We started this blog to let you in. To bring you stories of our relationship and lived experiences. There’s that saying, “to know me is to love me.” Well, coming from two mama’s boys, to know us is to love our moms.
The first thing you must know about our moms is that both of their names are Carol(e). An easy way to remember this is that Carole with an E is E’s mom. The second thing is that their hearts are the same and the way they love is similar. Both generous, selfless, fierce and forgiving.
In honor of Mother’s Day, we celebrate their motherhood and their journey of mothering us, separate and together. We asked them to share their experience as mothers of gay men and if you’re a parent wondering how you might feel if your child were to come out to you, there’s a lot to learn from them. We wouldn’t be the men we are without them. To know them is to love them like we do.
From Carole
I love loving Eric and Aaron. I am so proud that they have asked me to share my thoughts and feelings about cherishing and celebrating their love.
Eric’s coming out story is a little different than most but it’s ours and it’s special. I had traveled to New York to see the show, “Celebration” of which both Eric and Aaron were in and it was magical. It was also eye opening and fun to observe the playfulness between Eric and Aaron after each show. On the final day of the show, Hurricane Sandy was bearing down. I spent the next 3 days on the Upper East Side with Eric and his roommate, Lisa in their apartment. I witnessed Eric’s concern for Aaron who was in lower Manhattan with no power. I left New York wondering... A month later, Eric came home for Thanksgiving. Christie, Eric’s sister, and I picked him up from the airport and we went directly to The Rainforest Cafe for nachos and margaritas. While sitting on stools with tails Eric told us that he was gay and had feelings for Aaron. He told us that he couldn’t wait to talk to him and see him at the end of each day. We hugged Eric and told him we were truly happy for him. To see and hear the genuine love he felt for Aaron made our hearts happy. I have said it often - I am so happy that Eric and Aaron found each other in this great big world!
For me I cannot imagine feeling any other way. Eric is my “baby” and I say that with so much affection. I loved that he hugged me tight when he was little and didn’t mind that I was around his friends when he was of the age when it wasn’t cool, welcomed my visits to his dorm at St. John’s, called me often from New York and made every visit amazing. So for this beautiful son of mine to have found an incredible guy to love, trust and share his life journey with, I want to shout it out “love is love is love is love”. Our family was so proud to walk with Eric and Aaron in the Pride Parade last year.
I am so happy to share being mom to Aaron and Eric with such an amazing mom in Hawai’i. Carol bubbles over with Aloha Spirit and it is no wonder that Aaron fills our hearts in Minnesota with infectious warmth, love and laughter. Our boys and our families are blessed - ‘ohana. We will forever treasure Aaron and Eric’s wedding day and how strong their love for each other and everyone’s love for them felt on that beautiful sunny morning in Kailua.
Our boys are smart, witty, talented, cute, compassionate, kind and loving. They are each so amazing and together they become some word you can’t find in the dictionary. I believe with all my heart that their love was meant to be. And their love brings not only them great joy but their families, friends and everyone they meet.
From Carol
Some of the most important goals in my life have centered around motherhood. I am blessed to have shared this lifetime with two wonderful sons. When they were young I was focused on providing for their health and wellness. As they grew, my attention shifted to supporting their educational needs, interests and talents and how to best use my time and resources to help them achieve their goals. My constant motivation was that I would help them to become independent individuals with a passion for life, that they would develop the skills that would allow them to find work that was fulfilling and along their journey to find a partner to love and build a happy life together! These “goals of motherhood” never changed as my sons grew to adulthood and when Aaron came out after his sophomore year at NYU, it was not a surprise and it was just another aspect of all the wonderful qualities that made him so special to me!
In December of 2013, Aaron was performing at the Olney Theatre in “The King and I”. It was a wonderful opportunity to spend my first “White Christmas” together, quality time without the pressure of school and a time to reconnect with my boy! During one of our walks in D.C., Aaron played me a song that Eric had written to him. I knew at that moment when I heard that beautiful song, that my son had found his soulmate and my heart was full of JOY for them! TOGETHER they have accomplished so much in their personal and professional lives and we are so proud of them! Their willingness to share via this blog is a bold statement of their commitment to the values they share as a young gay married couple.
Music continues to be the thread that provides the loving spirit in the tapestry that they are weaving of their life together. I have relished the moments when they sing together, at weddings, on Mother’s Day or on Instagram. I have seen them flourish in their harmonies and still retain their individual vocal style. Through the years, their duets have evolved into a statement of the strength of their love and defines their marriage as truly a shared relationship built on respect, appreciation and LOVE!!
